How to Kill Communication in Your Marriage | Some Wise Guy

Every marriage book, expert and seminar will tell you communication is key to a successful marriage. One reason this is so important is that men and women think and speak differently. It?s the conundrum of pink and blue trying to understand each other.

LK and I understand this conceptually, but sometimes we still miss the mark.

And usually it?s my fault.

We are expecting a new baby girl* this fall and naturally our lives need to adjust in preparation for her arrival. Part of these adjustment involves rearranging furniture to accommodate a basinet, crib and changing table.

Unfortunately, our bedroom isn?t very large and has windows and closet doors in very non-strategic spots. Additionally, LK is very (beautifully) pregnant and not supposed to lift anything heavy. In an effort to increase the odds of winning ?Husband of the Year? I offered to rearrange our bedroom furniture last night which included:

• 2 dressers
• 1 vanity
• 1 cedar chest
• 1 queen size bed (frame, mattress & box spring)

This doesn?t sound too bad until you factor in the amount of clothes a woman can pack into a given drawer. Especially considering LK?s ninja folding skills.

Anyway, everything was going dandy despite getting a little sweaty from dragging furniture around the room until 2 hours later when the bed was in place.

At this point we realized that the space between my side of the bed and the dresser would be about 6 inches. It?s more room than a studio apartment in London, but not quite convenient for rolling out of bed at 3:00 AM.

KC: ?I thought you measured the furniture.?

LK: ?No, I didn?t.?

KC: ?You told me you did when you talked about rearranging the furniture.?

LK: ?I never said that.?

KC: ?Well, I?m not moving everything back.?

LK: ?Are you sure you?ll have enough room??

KC: ?I?ll make it work.?

We went back on forth on whether the dresser really was too close to the bed because LK is a fabulous wife and wanted to make sure I had enough room to maneuver. She really is wonderful and had my best interest at heart. I?m stubborn and quasi-apathetic when it comes to furniture arrangements so for now the dresser is close enough to be a night stand.

My big mistake in this scenario is the key to killing communication in your marriage.

I assumed that because LK wanted the room setup a particular way that she had measured the furniture and knew everything would fit.

100% my fault.

Never assume. Always clarify.

Ladies, if you ask your man to pick up ?bread, milk & paper towels? on his way home from work don?t assume he?ll come back with the brand, size and sheet count you want.

Men, if you ask your wife to grab cookies while she?s at the store don?t get mad when you come home to generic brand chocolate chip cardboard instead of Double Stuf Oreos.

?Assume? is a 4 letter word.

When in doubt, clarify. Even if you?re not in doubt, clarify.

Questions: When was the last time assuming got you in trouble? Do you have trouble clarifying what you want?

*in keeping with using nicknames for our kids online our new baby girl will?be ?Kiwi?

Source: http://www.somewiseguy.com/kill-communication/

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